


Bretta idealizing the knight

by AskeletonsWalkman



Category: Hollow Knight
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cornifer (mentioned), Dirtmouth, Gen, Hallownest, Iselda (mentioned), brettasprettyneat, idealizing, noncanon, sly (mentioned), yearningfor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22291648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AskeletonsWalkman/pseuds/AskeletonsWalkman
Summary: Bretta's pretty cool, so I thought of writing some short stuff relating to the in-game events with the player and her.Have some comics drawn for basically no reason: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/hollow-knight-fan-existence/list?title_no=378233
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	1. Idolizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She be goin' hard for finding his existence to be cash money.

Once I got back into my house, I was still very greatful for the knight-- probably too greatful, honestly... but his brilliant display of heroic prowess left such an impression on me that it'd feel rude not to repay him somehow. What at first felt like a few hours that stretched past my tracking of time, I made some dolls in his liking, and since he's a fairly simple looking knight, I made several of them-- each varying in quality. That didn't feel like enough though; the dolls complement the knight's looks well, but they don't feel... satisfactory enough. My body begun to shiver in fear that the knight would be disappointed or disapproving of my efforts-- probably not even considering my very existence worthy of his time-- I need to show him my affection! The track of time derailed much further that it fell down the same hole I was saved from-- probably for the best though, because that time felt well spent on this painting of the knight; it captures his heroic side wonderfully, alongside with his shining brilliance and short, cute nail.

Finally satisfied with the quality of my gifts, I thought of starting a little slow and just taking the best doll I made for him; I ventured out of my house and turned over to the Elderbug, quickly growing surprised to see him being accompanied with the-- the knight! It's him! Goodness, I can share my affection with him! What first felt like my confidence taking over, swooning the knight with my charms and impressing it with my craftsmanship, I quickly realize that my confidence wanted no play in this, and jumped into the hole my time spent went; by the time I approached the knight, I could feel my body shivering in delight and unnerving fright... Not so sure about why the last part-- he doesn't look frightening or aggressive...

The knight stared back at me with an empty, void-like look on his mask; the Elderbug was also looking at me, more so with a confused stare, whom then spoke up; "Are you okay, Bretta?" I did my best to respond, but all I could articulate was a squeaky peep towards the knight, whom hasn't budged an inch since it first laid its eyes on me. "Bretta, is there something out there?" The Elderbug turned away to where I was looking off to, promptly noting that the potential danger is nothing more than the wind gushing past us. After a bit more silence, the knight begun to animate, tilting its head towards the doll in my claws and focusing sharply onto it. My claws felt colder than usual, clenching and curling up as they were so exposed to the knight... I reassured myself that the worst outcome of this would be the knight rejecting my efforts as pointless drivel-- something crafted by a mindless bug.

Before I even realized it, I was sitting on the bench besides the knight; his presence felt odd and peculiar, but I wasn't shivering anymore... I focused onto the knight with my doll ready to be presented, only to see that he's no longer focusing on me-- but instead just staring out like a statue. What's going on in that mask? Is he thinking of me? Maybe he's planning on what to do upon departing... Given his almost perfectly still and straight posture, is he even a 'he'...? No matter-- I need to act now!

"Excuse me--" I uttered before his head snapped over to me in sharp attention; I froze up once more and turned my head away quickly-- him acknowledging my existence is a little overwhelming, honestly. I could feel his gaze upon me, awaiting for what I was going to ask it in cold, oddly-dreadful attention. My confidence slowly came back after a little bit, calming down the shivering my body kept the whole time, the feeling of being stared at by the knight slowly disappearing, and I finally gained the courage to speak up; I turned my head back over to the knight, "Excuse me, Knight--" Only to realize that I sat there for so long, the time it took for my courage to return gave ample time for the knight to leave to its own activity, left without even a peep towards me or the Elderbug. I let out a weak, disappointed sigh as I stared towards its past spot, then down towards the doll in my claws... did it even properly acknowledge the doll I made for it? Probably not... Maybe it didn't say anything due to my underconfident, shy display of presentation; perhaps that was why he showed no efforts in even speaking to me...

The Elderbug asks once more, "Bretta, is something troubling you?" I shook my head as I slid off of the bench and begun meandering back to my house in grief; my thoughts of reassuring confidence were overshadowed by the pain that I disappointed the knight beyond him seeing me as an interesting bug-- he probably doesn't even see me as a proper bug anymore...

Crud.


	2. Dramatic existence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another part

Sitting alone within my house, I haven't done more than staring unsatisfied at the dolls in growing discontent; they all sat in scattered locations across the room, all of them pointed towards each other in equal void-esque stares. All of them captured the knight very well, something he would've possibly founded complementary, but I couldn't shake the vague idea of them looking towards me; it felt like I've disappointed all of them... "Does he consider me a worthy girl?" My eyes slowly drifted across the room as I continued muttering lowly; "Was my pathetic display of interaction a joke to him? Perhaps. Someone of his prowess probably found my very existence equal to the bench he sat on". Once the painting of the knight entered into my sight, the dreadful, disappointed aura strengthened; my claws clenched sharply, my chest tightened at the idea of showing the knight the painting; the anticipated disappointment shook my breathing into a weak shudder; I attempted to pass off the feeling once I turned away and focused on a random part of my room, but that only intensified the feelings to the point of feeling like a mistake.

I let out a weak cry and rose my claws into the air in an admittedly dramatic fashion, a thought and display of agony that quickly ceased once a knocking came from my door. I eased up and composed myself to the best I could and answered the door, growing a weak smile upon seeing Elderbug at my doorstep. "Hey... You're not in your spot". Elderbug shook his head with an amused smile, chuckling lightly, then frowned in concern; "You've been acting a little off lately. Has the infection gotten to you? Are you grieving over someone?" His last question resonated with me fairly hard, but my efforts to speak up genuinely about the knight were squashed by the just as quickly resonating feelings of disappointment; I spoke up in an unsure tone, "No, it's not that; I've just been thinking about someone for a while now. A little concerned and all, you know?" Elderbug's face expressed nothing more than concern and light curiosity, which I continued on; "That... That knight-- he reminded me of someone I once liked".

Briefly after finishing that thought, I just realized that he's staring into my house-- focusing on the painting! I swiftly turned to it, then back at him in faint embarrassment; "H-- wait, it's not like that!" He focused more properly on me. "It's just a painting I thought would compliment him well!" Elderbug only nodded in understanding, attempting to respond, but I cut him off: "And... It's not done yet-- so I'd like you to please leave, if you'd be so kind!" He lets out a weak sigh and begun to walk off, his trailing-off voice still containing a bit of concern. "Well, as long as you're not losing your mind, then I'll be over here in the meantime".

Upon closing the door, the lingering feeling of disappointment had no consideration of leaving with Elderbug; the most I could do was to accompany it and wallow alone; which was the best I could do. I turned over to the painting once more, taking in the shining brilliance of the knight and his nail... the bravery he used to save me... All of it kind of feels a little insignificant now-- his efforts and heroism reduced to an after-thought by my failure to express my admiration for him. A moment after staring at the painting, I felt a bit of water dripping onto my right arm; it wasn't much, and it didn't feel all that cold... I took a quick glance up at the roof, then placed my right claw against my face, soon realizing that a few tears formed, ones that must've formed after the constant barrage of self deprecation... I fell to my knees and threw my body forwards against the floor, abruptly stopping by my claws slapping against the floor and clutching at it to the best of my strength, and crying out "Why didn't you just speak to him?!"

I'm fairly sure the Elderbug heard that... I hope he didn't...


	3. Another try wouldn't hurt, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> existence

What felt like an eternity of idleness in my house, accompanied by the dolls and the occasional little conversations had with Elderbug, or Cornifers little expeditions down into the depths, I felt as if the knight would never return after my fumble... but to my luck, I caught wind of the knight entering into Dirtmouth. Before I left the house, I made sure to keep my presentation high and confidence strong-- this time, ensuring that I'll make a good impression on him; I also ensured I had a doll to present again, this one being a near life size replica of the knight.

Stepping out, I caught a glimpse of the knight, whom made his way into Sly's shop; I followed his path with the most confidence I could hold, but as I approached the shop, I could feel it leaking out of me-- the dreadful feeling returning-- the weight of disappointment just cannot separate itself from me, no matter how hard I try; I stopped right besides Elderbug, whom focused on me with that look on his face again-- one of worry and concern; what possibly prompted for it was my vaguely frightful face and shaky body... Who am I kidding-- it's very apparent. "Is there something out there, Bretta?" He asked as his head turned towards the direction I stared, but further out into the darkness; after a moment, he turned back to me, focused upon my doll, then addressed me once more, "Wait, are you looking for the knight? He's in Sly's shop". I could only muster a subtly shaky nod as my gaze remained on the shop; I slowly calmed down and attempted to regain my confidence, but I could only gather so much before the knight stepped back out of the store, now a light accompanying his side-- a nicely bright one at that. I don't remember him being so... majestic like this-- a shine that I once saw when he freed me from the hole-- a light I couldn't help but find mesmerizing... Once he walked up to us, it became quickly apparent that he has a floating lantern besides him. It looked pretty cute, really.

I finally gained the courage to speak up, prompting the knight: "What's the floating lantern for?" Before the knight could even turn his head over to it, Elderbug corrected me, "It's called called a 'Lumafly Lantern', Bretta, not a floating lantern". While his tone had no malice within it, I could feel the empty, unamused stare the knight had on me; I winced and turned away, attempting to save face: "I knew that-- I was just playing around". Elderbug rose his eyebrows as I presented the doll to the knight, speaking in the most confident voice I could-- which held more squeak than confidence. "Knight--" I shakily shuddered, then spoke more clearly, "Sir Knight, I made you this... doll.... as a thanks for your bravery back in the Fungal Wastes!" His unchanging gaze didn't help much in my draining confidence, but I continued on in the best way I could; "I was wondering if you would like to have it?" The knight continued to stare off at me blankly, then finally begun animating and gently placed his hands on the side of the doll; for the briefest moment, a subtle contact of his hands brushed up against my claws--a most likely unintentional gesture. I couldn't help but feel blissful; it was short, but it was such a feeling was something I longed for-- something undeliverable by no one else but him; an inspiring spirit of courage that I wish I could keep by my side for eternity... a desire unlikely to be met.

Once he took the doll and stared towards it, holding it closely to his body, I wished it were me... a weak feeling of desire began to fill my chest-- now part of me yearned for such a gesture from him... The knight looked up at me in his empty gaze, but I didn't feel a dreadful, disappointing aura from it-- it more felt like an appreciative stare... despite the lack of words and expressive language, I just know that he's satisfied with my craft. He continued to hug it for a moment, then shoved it away somewhere... he just kind of placed it behind him and it disappeared; not sure how that works. The knight went back to staring towards me, I was pushed back into reality, where I noticed my claws were still holding onto nothing but the air; I lowered them in light awkwardness, but I kept the best appreciative, warm smile I could. "Glad you like it", while said with certainty, I couldn't be totally sure. The knight didn't spend much more time here; he paid a visit to Cornifers shop, then departed not long after, leaving Elderbug and I where we stand. I sighed in relief and joy as I watched the knight descend into the well, re-entering into the depths of Hallownest and its monsters...

For a good moment, the both of us stood in silence, him in idleness and me in admiration and awe-strucked wonder; I rubbed my warm, left cheek as I thought of what he could be going up against; what kind of terrifying, horrific monsters that would prey upon those like me, without a second thought slaughtering me for a quick meal... him however, he wouldn't be stopped; with his prowess, those monsters would be begging for a more graceful demise-- a plead that would fall on deaf bugs. For a warrior like him, every strike made would be too much for those monsters...

Elderbug must've been looking at during my idolization of the knight-- he has a pleased smile and a tone to match. "The knight must've left quite an impression on you. Haven't seen anyone this pink in a long time". I snapped back into reality upon hearing the latter half of his comment; without a peep, I quickly made my way back home and closed the door behind me, focusing upon the mirror near my bed. He wasn't lying-- I'm blushing! Really hard at that... I rubbed my face gently, staring back at the awe-struck beetle... Elderbug couldn't be closer to the truth-- The knight left a really strong impression on me... I don't recall doing this from last time he was around; was I day-dreaming about him? No, I was just admiring him...

I hope he's safe...


	4. The Boasting Of a Warrior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zote

Over the course of a few days, activity in Dirtmouth fell back down to a standstill; Cornifer would occasionally come up to greet us and get supplies, Sly would sometimes be wandering around the place, maybe just standing around or swinging a little nail around as a recreational activity, Elderbug would be in his spot, and I'd be waiting for the knight to return... Oh so waiting... But while doing so, an unfamiliar face came by-- a self-proclaimed warrior whom wielded a shellwood nail and a tired, grouchy look that overlayed throughout all other expressions he could pull.

I sat there on the bench in anticipation for the knight, somewhat daydreaming for his return, but that was quickly overshadowed by this bug's exclamatory introduction as he approached me in the most self-aggrandizing walk I've ever seen. "You there!" He shouted with a stiff, pointy finger, "I am Zote The Mighty-- a fierceful, powerful warrior that has found his way over to this pitiful town!" What more could I say than just how utterly astonished I was at the abrasive attitude he continued on with; "Tell me-- what is your name?" I muttered my name to him, which he responded, "Speak up-- this is not how you introduce yourself!" A little miffed, I spoke up more clearly and in a bit of irritation to match, "My name is Bretta." Zote grunted dismissively towards me, then looked off into the distance as he spoke; "Quite a name-- not much of anything special... no title nor prestige to be had! How unfortunate. Through my travels, I expected at least a noble to speak to!" I was rather ready to start verbally spatting him, but he interrupted me far before I could even move my mandibles; "BUT, that is not important. What IS important," He pointed his hand up and expressed confident reassurance, "is how a monster down below will not be finding its way here. For I have SLAIN the monster with no hesitation in its well-being! A low-life creature such as itself would not even be bothered by the thoughts of empathy."

His rude demeanor was quite appalling, but I couldn't help but feel the energy he exuded as... interesting-- particularly that mention of the monster; I spoke up, "Uhm, what was the creature that you slayed?" Zote rose his right eyebrow and smiled cockily, "You see, it was not a simple creature-- one would possibly call it brave and fearless, had it possessed a modicum of intelligence. No, this creature was a large beast at that-- a creature of power that attempted to take my life!" I leaned in as my intrigue rose with his tone, "Sharp mandibles, predator instincts, and an unsatisfied hunger? Hmmph. It probably thought less of the potential power I held with my trusty nail!" He swiftly pulled out his nail, proclaiming its title as 'Life-ender'; "Before its end, I was scouting the place for any possible survivors, only to be ambushed by the creature! It was fast and deadly, a combo that would've ended anyone else less prepared than I-- Zote The Mighty!" My claws curled up in joyous, awe-inspired anticipation as Zote continued on, "It chomped on me, attempting to make a quick meal out of me, but little did it know that my sturdy body wore its mandibles to a dull state-- providing me the perfect opportunity to strike it down with unrelenting FIERY!" The hollow clunk his nail emitted upon being smashed against the ground went unnoticed, for I couldn't feel anything else than undying interest in Zote; I felt this for the knight when he first rescued me, but... this one, he actually talks... And he's talking to me!

I squeaked in joy and shook my claws in equal joyful energy as I finally spoke, "That's amazing! With a creature like that, did you feel any dread?" Zote scoffed at my comment; "Fear is not in my vocabulary, only a fool would know such a word!" He withdrew his sword as I responded, "Amazing...! Ooh..." I cupped my claws together as my feet gently kicked against the bench, "Say, do you know of the knight?" Zote frowned in slight distaste, standing in a more heroic sense and speaking with a vaguely condescending tone; "'The knight'? Are you possibly referring to the one that looks like a mockery of me?" I frowned in slight confusion; a mockery? I wouldn't put it like that-- the two may look similar, but in no way is a mockery... I responded lightly, "Yes, but--" He interrupts, "Ah yes, I have interacted with him! In fact, he thought of intervening with me and the beast I slayed! Hmph! He lacks restraint when observing his elders in combat!" Zote turned away, speaking in a lower tone, "Had I not been there, he would've most certainly been food for the beast." I gasped lightly, but a small voice in the back of my head held doubt that I couldn't push aside; the knight's a capable warrior-- if he found me in Fungle Wastes, how would he lose to something Zote could fight? That doesn't seem right... Before I could speak up, Zote continued on: "He should be grateful that I stopped by, but alas, his empty stare and equally unappreciative demeanor fell flat, so I left him to his own activity." He begun to depart; "If you see him again, let him know that Zote The Mighty is expecting a grateful letter!"

I watched him enter into Cornifer's shop in a similar strut he held when approaching me, shouting towards Iselda for what she sold. During this, Elderbug came back from his little walk, greeting me as he stood back in his spot; "Hello Bretta. I heard some shouting... and I'm still hearing it-- is that coming from Cornifer's shop?" I nodded as the background shouting died down a bit, "It is. A warrior named 'Zote' just came by! He apparently saved the knight from a horrific beast!" Elderbug rose his eyebrows in intrigue, "Really now? Sounds like the knight has competition for the monsters below." He chuckled lightly, promptly stopping once he saw Zote exiting the shop with a map in his face, which was folded up and stashed away as his eyes focused on us. "Not as empty as a town when I first stepped entered!" Zote exclaimed as he started making his way to the well, his voice fading into an echo and growing muffled in the wind, "I would chat with you, but I have places to be-- monsters to slay!" Before long, he departed into the well, taking his confidence with him; I felt rather awe-inspired by Zote's story... such amazing heroism! I wish the knight would share his adventures with me, given how often he stops by... A weak sigh leaves my mouth as I went back to sitting idly on this bench... now awaiting for when the knight will bless me with his presence once more, sitting by my side in his statue-like stare...

I yearn for your return, my shining knight...


	5. Path Contemplation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bretta considers some existence in venturing out.

Ever since the Knight rescued me from that prickly prison-- that cold, mushroom abundant cavern that assured me no path of returning to the surface... the... Honestly unusual spot that I somehow got myself into. Now that I think about it, I can't really recall how I fell into that place. Did the ground collapse under me while I was traveling...? No, maybe I was chased in there and whatever was preying on me, they lost me. The other one sounds more plausible-- I didn't have any weapons or ways to defend myself, and there were some tall bugs around the place...

But aside from that, the Knight's undeniable display of heroic spirit and respectable power left me yearning for more... not only from him, but myself-- to become something like him; Dirtmouth is nice and quiet, and Elderbug's company-- alongside everyone else, but he's mostly out here with me-- kept me rather happy to be out of that hole, but nothing up here can replicate the feelings of fright and adventure... the experience that it brought was like none other-- the feelings at the time were overwhelming, but looking back at it, I've become stronger; I've become someone who can take it a little better! And if I can learn how to fight, while also growing stoic against the monsters below, I'd make a great warrior!

The overly dangerous creatures that fill the passageways of Hallownest, creatures of unrelenting terror... How do you cope with it, Knight? Is that emotionless mask of yours just an extension of how you truly feel-- apathetic and detached? Are you simply used to it at this point, and you don't express anything else? Were you to feel any different on anything... or anyone, would it hinder your ability to fight? Nah, that's ridiculous... He's probably just used to it all.

"The last several days has been especially quiet." Elderbug said with wandering eyes; "I wouldn't have it any other way... would you, Bretta?" He turned over to me before he addressed me, to which I replied, "Honestly... I don't know. Ever since that one guy came by... hum... what was his name... Zoot?" Elderbug's face filled in thought for a moment, then returned to its neutral stare as he looked away and spoke, "I'm sure it was 'Zote'. Despite the brief time I saw him, he was the loudest bug I've listened to for the longest time." I grew a light smile, "Yeah, he probably assumed that if he was loud, it'd make up for any lacking skills for combat." Elderbug grew amused and chuckled a little as I lost my smile, turning my head over to the distant well, then back over to Elderbug, speaking in a slightly lower tone; "Anyways, ever since Zote showed up, and the Knight occasionally stopping by for supplies, I've been... amused by the thought of going back down into the well." I could already tell of Elderbug's opinion through his abruptly apparent unapproving glare as I continued on, "And... me sitting here in Dirtmouth, just taking in the scenery and idly watching life walk by, I'm not liking it all that much. I want something more exciting-- something like what the Knight can do!"

I stared at Elderbug's vaguely disgusted-- but mostly unapproving-- stare, which finally shifted furthermore into concern than the other two. "You can't seriously be considering this, Bretta! Neither of us would be capable of fighting the monsters down there!" He walked up to me and placed his left claw on the bench, clutching it slightly, "The Knight's an interesting one-- someone of impressive dedication to helping others and restoring order to this place; before you came by, he found Sly, he's been opening up those Stag passageways-- he's doing far more than what a group of warriors have been able to achieve in the same time he has!" In the back of my head, the thoughts of traveling out grew in excitement and admiration... In fact, maybe I could convince the Knight to let me travel with him! "But you Bretta--" I focused back onto Elderbug with a weak grunt, "you don't look like the warrior type-- nor do you even look like you can take much! In no way do I mean to hurt you-- I'm just worried about what could happen due to reckless actions!" He'd turn away for a moment, retracting his claw back into his cloak and sighing lightly; I responded in less certainty; "I'm aware of what's down there... I've seen it. If I had a nail and a bit of practice, I'm sure I'd make a worthy warrior!" My enthusiasm couldn't move that stiff-as-stone look of concern away. "Bretta, I would hate to see you get hurt; someone like the Knight is why we're sitting here, and he's out there fighting. We'd just make his duty harder, or overall pointless!"

Any enthusiasm I held took a beating from Elderbug's concern; I attempted to respond in some positive way of me learning how to fight, but the most I could show was just grunt in self-disappointment and uncertainty. For what it's worth, I guess he's right; there isn't much to gain from risking myself like this-- I would be impressing everyone if I succeeded in becoming a warrior... while the possibility of disappointing everyone was just as apparent... Or possibly even death, if I go too far with it. I turned away towards the well with a lack of aspiration, then turned back over to Elderbug once more; "I... guess you're right." Elderbug nodded slightly and spoke up, "Again-- I don't want to crush your dreams or anything, but... well, I guess I did with that look on your face..." I groan quietly; "...but it's best for you to stay here. You're safe, at the very least. And when the Knight shows up again, maybe you can ask if he'd grab some sort of trinket or trophy to help... decorate the town, or to show off what he comes across!" A weak smile grew under the disappointment that stayed prevalent on my face, promptly followed by me responding in a mostly neutral tone, "That could help make this place look nicer; add some lost culture, decor, or aesthetics that the places down there have."

Elderbug's worry slowly faded away as his neutrality returned, while his tone kept some of its concern for me; "And don't try going down there... for the sake of everyone here-- we don't need the loss of another bug because of their unattainable desires." I nodded slightly and promptly hopped off of the bench, and walked off back to my house. His stare weighed down on me as I made my way back home, and still felt it for a while once I stepped inside. The sounds of passing winds muffle out as the door closed behind me, alongside with the feeling of being looked down upon from Elderbug.

The dolls stared towards me in equal emptiness as I stood at the door, claw on the doorknob, and staring back at them in mixed uncertainty and thought; "'Don't try going down there'..." I muttered lightly while I walked up to one of the dolls, "'unattainable'..." My claws gently picked up the doll laying flatly on the floor, bringing it close to my chest as I stared towards it with a weak sense of reassured joy, which was mostly overshadowed by uncertainty. After staring towards it for a solid moment, just taking in the silence around me and gently rubbing the doll, I looked up with some of the prior aspiration regained, and thought "I need a nail...", which was quickly shot down in realization of where I could even find one.

Where in the world am I going to find one?

**Author's Note:**

> Existence.  
> It's fun writing at 2 AM in the morning and re-reading the nonsense.


End file.
